Many individuals spend a lot of their time trying to control other people because they don’t feel in control deep inside. Let go of the need to control others by healing your hurts and being as happy as possible with yourself. The more you understand and accept yourself, the less you’ll need to run other people’s lives.
If you’ve ever had something difficult or challenging happen in your life you know that you have two major choices:
- Keep thinking about the event and let it run your life.
- Work through the difficulty and live positively.
A big part of being happy in life is how you deal with difficult events in your life. If you decide to let the event define who you are and rule everything you do then you give up your power; if you decide to heal yourself and grow from it then you’ll be much happier. Which will you choose?
A. Heal your hurts and resolve your issues.
B. Treat yourself and others well.
C. Live an authentic life based on doing what you love.
Work on these things a little bit each day and you’ll be on your way to living a life of deep joy, fulfillment and meaning. It’s not always an easy journey but it’s wonderfully worthwhile.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to be in touch with your deepest, and sometimes most uncomfortable, feelings so that they don’t affect your life negatively. When you understand that emotions are a normal part of a happy life then you can deal with anything that comes your way instead of trying to ignore or avoid what’s going on inside you. Being happy depends on being able to feel all your emotions without trying to suppress them. Once you master your own emotions you can also welcome other people’s.
Even in the most difficult of circumstances, you always have options. There is always that new person you can talk with, an additional idea you can consider or a different way of looking at things that can open up new doors. The key to being happy is to look at difficult challenges as opportunities to learn new things and try different approaches. You’ll feel less stuck in life if you always look for options instead of giving up.
There may be times when you have competing voices in your head. One will tell you to take a road that may hurt you, another will ask you to compromise your beliefs, another will present an important challenge or decision. Some voices will try to help you, others will try to hold you back. The key to being happy in life is to go with the positive voices.
There is one voice to pay attention to above all others: The one that is telling you what your true path in life is. No other voice matters as much as that one, listen to it.
A trap that a lot of well-meaning, smart people fall into is not talking about important or difficult matters. In order to be happy, it’s important to talk about stuff. Communicate openly, kindly and often. It’s the work you put into resolving difficult issues that will help you learn, grow and avoid repeating the same patterns.