How to Be Happy

How to Be Happy: Avoidance

Many people will do anything to avoid looking at their difficult issues in their life and, in the process, miss the opportunity to be truly happy in life. When you don’t heal the hurts in your life you’re always burdened by them. The key to authentic happiness is to continue working on becoming healthier and more balanced throughout your journey.

My Path to Happiness

My path to happiness has been a winding and difficult one. I was raised in a family where I didn’t matter and, consequently, harbored a lot of ill feelings toward myself and others. Because I wasn’t important in my family, I built a false shell of bravado and confidence, hoping the world wouldn’t notice how broken I really was. I behaved in horrible ways, treating myself and others poorly and building negative relationships.

I was a mess inside my head, I had no sense of peace or balance, I existed day to day reacting to the outside world. I saw conflict and competition where there was none, I thought people had ulterior motives when they were just being nice, I saw others as threats instead of possible friends. I drove people away through a mixture of insecurity, inflexibility, and stubbornness. I was a person who behaved with pride but had nothing to be proud of within myself.

This behavior haunted me through my teens, twenties, and into my thirties, and made me a person I didn’t like or admire. Fear, anger, and sadness were constant companions because I didn’t try other alternatives, they were all I knew and I had convinced myself there were no other options. After too many personal heartaches and failures, I realized that what I was doing wasn’t working.

Admitting that I wasn’t right or invincible meant that I no longer had to live a lie, I could be genuinely happy instead of pretending to be. My path to happiness began revealing itself as I healed my unresolved issues. Over many years of hard work, I found out that the world wasn’t out to get me. I learned how to be the real me and spread joy instead of misery.

In the last fifteen years, I’ve learned that anyone can be happy by looking deep within themselves, healing their hurts, and behaving kindly, and compassionately. It’s not an easy process, but it’s worth it because you get to live life as the real, wonderful you. What is your path to happiness like?


You Have Options

To be happy in life, it’s important to always have an open, optimistic outlook and be willing to consider different options. Many people get stuck because they refuse to do anything differently or try new ways of resolving the challenges they face. No matter how big an obstacle you encounter, there is always something you can change to alter your perspective on the situation. There are any number of alternatives available to any conundrum and you can choose to open new doors rather than staying stuck doing what you’ve always done. What will you do to increase your options?

How You React

You have a lot of control over how you react to people or events. If you choose to react negatively, or like there is a crisis or catastrophe going on, it will have an effect on your well-being. Happy people know that not everything will go perfectly in life but that they have control over how they react. When you don’t let life’s bumps get you down you’ll be much more balanced and ready for any challenge that might come your way.

Your Relationships

Your relationships are a clear indicator of how happy you really are. If you surround yourself with positive people who build you up, help you grow and interact with you on a deeper level then you’ll live a joyful, fulfilling life. If you’ve established a pattern of broken, unhealthy, superficial, unsatisfying relationships it means you have some areas you might want to examine.

When you’re healthy and whole you attract people who feel the same way. Take the time necessary to love yourself and others and that energy will come back to you.