How to Be Happy

Happiness Comes from the Inside

A lot of people look to external sources for contentment, not realizing that happiness comes from the inside. No matter how hard you try to extract happiness from other people or things, you’ll never be as satisfied as when you find it within you. Here are some ideas on how to find the joy inside you:

  • Take an honest look at yourself, celebrate what you do well and work on what needs adjustment.
  • Acknowledge your inner hurts and heal them, go to therapy if you need to.
  • Resolve your unresolved issues.
  • Decide who you really are and what your really want to do in life and follow your true path.
  • Listen to your inner voice, not what others tell you to do.
  • Treat yourself kindly.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Take action each day to live life as the real you.

When you do all these things you’ll be on the path to true happiness because you’ll be living life as the authentic you. No amount of outside people or things will make you as happy as healing yourself and following your inner voice. Once you do that, everything else will flow. Where does your happiness come from?


If You Say You’re Happy, You’re Probably Not

If you say you’re happy, you’re probably not. This may sound like a strange statement, but over many years of coaching thoughtful people I’ve discovered that individuals who say they’re happy are often the same ones who are profoundly miserable inside but trying to hide it at all costs. They’re unable to feel vulnerable or admit they’re having a hard time so they pretend everything’s going well.

True happiness is an ongoing struggle requiring that you let your guard down and show the world the real you. This opens you to all kinds of uncertainties and challenges but it also allows you to share your gifts and be who you are deep inside.

People who try to appear strong or always happy are likely not because their experience of joy is superficial, for show. Sure, a great job or fancy house can make you feel good temporarily, but it’s the hard work of looking at the deeper hurts and unresolved issues you carry that will eventually make you happy.

The key to being genuinely happy is to live life as yourself and keep working on being as authentic as possible. You may not be ecstatic at all times during the journey, but you’ll be moving toward true joy and fulfillment. What will you do to be truly happy?


Being Happy Means Being Vulnerable

Being happy means being vulnerable. That sounds strange because we’re usually told to be confident, invincible, and strong in our culture, but it’s the path to being genuinely happy. Being vulnerable isn’t the same as being weak or a pushover, it’s having the courage to show the world who you really are and accept the consequences and rewards.

Countless numbers of people live their lives based on what society, their family, friends, co-workers, or significant others tell them to do. Being vulnerable means that you’re willing to follow your own inner voice and do your own thing regardless of what other’s say. If you want to be an artist, you do that; if you want to be a scientist, you follow that path, no matter what others say.

Vulnerability is the only way that you can experience courage, joy, creativity, compassion, and love in life. It’s not an easy path because you’ll have to deal with all the people (including yourself) who will try to derail you in some way, but it’s the only one that will allow you live life as the real you and enjoy true happiness. What will you do to be more vulnerable?


My Path to Happiness

My path to happiness has been a winding and difficult one. I was raised in a family where I didn’t matter and, consequently, harbored a lot of ill feelings toward myself and others. Because I wasn’t important in my family, I built a false shell of bravado and confidence, hoping the world wouldn’t notice how broken I really was. I behaved in horrible ways, treating myself and others poorly and building negative relationships.

I was a mess inside my head, I had no sense of peace or balance, I existed day to day reacting to the outside world. I saw conflict and competition where there was none, I thought people had ulterior motives when they were just being nice, I saw others as threats instead of possible friends. I drove people away through a mixture of insecurity, inflexibility, and stubbornness. I was a person who behaved with pride but had nothing to be proud of within myself.

This behavior haunted me through my teens, twenties, and into my thirties, and made me a person I didn’t like or admire. Fear, anger, and sadness were constant companions because I didn’t try other alternatives, they were all I knew and I had convinced myself there were no other options. After too many personal heartaches and failures, I realized that what I was doing wasn’t working.

Admitting that I wasn’t right or invincible meant that I no longer had to live a lie, I could be genuinely happy instead of pretending to be. My path to happiness began revealing itself as I healed my unresolved issues. Over many years of hard work, I found out that the world wasn’t out to get me. I learned how to be the real me and spread joy instead of misery.

In the last fifteen years, I’ve learned that anyone can be happy by looking deep within themselves, healing their hurts, and behaving kindly, and compassionately. It’s not an easy process, but it’s worth it because you get to live life as the real, wonderful you. What is your path to happiness like?


Genuinely Like Yourself

You’ll be much more happy in life if you genuinely like yourself. That means doing away with all the fabricated stories about who you are as well as the false or embellished personas. Be content with yourself on the deepest level by:

  • Thinking and acting as the real you.
  • Feeling your feelings.
  • Doing kind things for yourself and others.
  • Doing things that build you and others up.
  • Healing the issues in your life that need attention.
  • Letting go of negative behaviors.
  • Living consciously.
  • Behave in ways that make you happy about who you are.

When you do these sort of things you move in a positive direction and live much more happily. What will you do to genuinely like yourself?


Your Definition of Being Happy

The great thing about life is that you get to conceive your own definition of being happy. You can choose how you think, feel, and behave and your life will follow the path you’ve created. You don’t have to wait to define happiness, you can start right now by asking yourself questions like:

  • What really brings me joy in life?
  • What are the things that are meaningful to me?
  • What small action can I take today to make my dreams come true?
  • Who am I and how do I want to live my life?
  • How will I get past the things that hold me back?

When you ask yourself questions like these you begin to live with clarity and purpose rather than waiting for contentment to come your way. How will you start defining what happiness means to you?


Think of Others

You’ll be much more happy in life if you think of others before you do things that might create undue grief. This doesn’t mean that you need to structure everything you do around what other people want, just that you treat them with kindness, courtesy and respect. You create positive vibes when you pause and think whether your actions will impact someone else negatively. The idea is to think and behave in ways that help you achieve your dreams and live a wonderful life while also helping others do the same. The happier and more successful the people around you are, the greater the chance that you will follow the same path. What will you do to think more about others?